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The Full Catalog

Wearable punchlines

Every design in the shop, all in one place — everyday humor, spooky-season Halloween, and the America @ 250 collection. Pick colors and sizes on each shirt.

90 designs · pick colors and sizes on each shirt

Park Ranger Day Shift Haunted Forest
🎃 Halloween
Park Ranger Day Shift Haunted Forest

Protecting Our National Parks Until It Starts Getting Dark

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Evergreen
University of Cryptkeeping's GARGOYLES — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
University of Cryptkeeping's GARGOYLES — Sweatshirt

This Halloween, Your Game Face Better Be Set in Stone

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Gold
America @ 250: Operating Without a Manual Since 1776
Light Blue
Academy of Advanced Witchcraft & Phamacology
🎃 Halloween
Academy of Advanced Witchcraft & Phamacology

This Halloween, Stop Putting off that BFA in the Dark Arts

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Black
Chief Logistics Coordinator Halloween Tomfoolery — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Chief Logistics Coordinator Halloween Tomfoolery — Sweatshirt

Halloween Candy. Costumes. Chaos. Somebody Get a Clipboard

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Heather
People ... hard pass
People ... hard pass

When Your Filter Takes the Day Off

$34.99
Dark Heather
The Official Uniform of Questionable Patriotic Decisions
Carolina Blue
Hard to Believe I'm Not A.I.
Hard to Believe I'm Not A.I.

Relax. This Much Gorgeous Is Still Human

$34.99
Black
That's a HORRIBLE Idea
That's a HORRIBLE Idea

The Worst Ideas Make the Best Stories

$34.99
Military Green
OSHA Sr. Cauldron Safety Inspector — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
OSHA Sr. Cauldron Safety Inspector — Sweatshirt

Somebody Has to Keep Witches' Cauldrons Up to Code

$52.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
denim
Sr. Exorcist Possessed Dolls — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Sr. Exorcist Possessed Dolls — Sweatshirt

This Halloween, the Noise Is Coming From Inside the Toy Box!

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Sport Grey
Another Day Squashed
Another Day Squashed

Wear Your Exhaustion Like a Badge of Honor

$34.99
Navy
Sarcasm Spoken Here
Sarcasm Spoken Here

Let Your Love Language Be Known!

$34.99
Black
250 Years Later and Somehow This Is Where We Landed
White
Salem Witch Defense Fund
🎃 Halloween
Salem Witch Defense Fund

Halloween Legal Trouble? Better Call Salem

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Heather
Transylvania Night School
🎃 Halloween
Transylvania Night School

An Education You Can Sink Your Teeth Into

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Maroon
Patrol Officer: Paranormal Surveillance Division — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Sport Grey
Broom Traffic Controller WFSB
🎃 Halloween
Broom Traffic Controller WFSB

Halloween Airspace Isn't Going to Manage Itself

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Coral
Black Lagoon State College Co-Ed Varsity Swim Team
🎃 Halloween
Black Lagoon State College Co-Ed Varsity Swim Team

Swamp The Competition This Halloween. GO AMPHIBIANS!

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Military Green
Can't Work Today... My Arm is in a Cast
Can't Work Today... My Arm is in a Cast

A Sick Day Excuse as Fishy as They Get

$34.99
Navy
Adulting is a Soup and I'm a Fork
Adulting is a Soup and I'm a Fork

When Your Degree Isn't in... Whatever This Is

$34.99
Dark Chocolate
Salem Witch Trials Appeals Board — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Salem Witch Trials Appeals Board — Sweatshirt

Halloween Justice: Because Witches Deserve an Appeal

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Orange
Highway to Hell, but Only a Stairway To Heaven
$34.99
Black
Black Lagoon State College Co-Ed Varsity Swim Team — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Black Lagoon State College Co-Ed Varsity Swim Team — Sweatshirt

Swamp The Competition This Halloween. GO AMPHIBIANS!

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Black
Just Don't Read the Comment Section
Sport Grey
Bloody Barnaby's Discount Blood Emporium
🎃 Halloween
Bloody Barnaby's Discount Blood Emporium

Transylvania's Bloodiest Business - Funny Halloween Tee

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Chocolate
I'll Be Watching You
I'll Be Watching You

For People Who've Never Eaten Alone

$34.99
Navy
Rock-Paper-Scissors
Rock-Paper-Scissors

Ultimate Rock-Paper-Scissors Champions Play With Four Paws

$34.99
Black
Possession in Progress — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Possession in Progress — Sweatshirt

Your Possession Is Almost Complete. Thanks for Your Patience

$58.95
Tee · Sweatshirt
denim
Surviving Counselor - Camp S-Laughter Lake — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Surviving Counselor - Camp S-Laughter Lake — Sweatshirt

Camp Builds Character. Assuming You Survive

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Carolina Blue
FAA Certified Broom Pilot — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
FAA Certified Broom Pilot — Sweatshirt

Every Witch Can Fly, But Pros Get Certified

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Ash
My Wife Says I Have Two Faults
My Wife Says I Have Two Faults

If She's Told You Once

$34.99
Dark Heather
Chief Logistics Coordinator Halloween Tomfoolery
🎃 Halloween
Chief Logistics Coordinator Halloween Tomfoolery

Halloween Candy. Costumes. Chaos. Somebody Get a Clipboard

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Orange
Surviving Counselor - Camp S-Laughter Lake
🎃 Halloween
Surviving Counselor - Camp S-Laughter Lake

Camp Builds Character. Assuming You Survive

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Red
I Paused My Game For This
I Paused My Game For This

Real Life Can Have Terrible Timing

$34.99
Black
Founding Fathers Be Like: "unsubscribe
Founding Fathers Be Like: "unsubscribe

A Verified Funny original.

$34.99
White
I'd Agree With You, But...
I'd Agree With You, But...

For the World's Most Self-Aware Know-It-All

$34.99
Dark Heather
Park Ranger Day Shift Haunted Forest — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Park Ranger Day Shift Haunted Forest — Sweatshirt

Protecting Our National Parks Until It Starts Getting Dark

$52.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Athletic Heather
Frankenstein College of Reanimation's MONSTERS — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Frankenstein College of Reanimation's MONSTERS — Sweatshirt

This Halloween, Skip Team Building. Ours Comes Assembled

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Black
FAA Certified Broom Pilot
🎃 Halloween
FAA Certified Broom Pilot

Every Witch Can Fly, But Pros Get Certified

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Orange
Go Familiars - Women's B-ball at Academy of Advanced Witchcraft
🎃 Halloween
Go Familiars - Women's B-ball at Academy of Advanced Witchcraft

Root for the Home Coven This Halloween. GO FAMILIARS!

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Heather
People, Ew
People, Ew

For Days When Your Inside Voice Wins

$34.99
Dark Heather
Victor Frankenstein College of Reanimation
🎃 Halloween
Victor Frankenstein College of Reanimation

A College Where Raising the Dead is Extra Credit

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Gold
Academy of Advanced Witchcraft & Phamacology — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Academy of Advanced Witchcraft & Phamacology — Sweatshirt

This Halloween, Stop Putting off that BFA in the Dark Arts

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Orange
A Founding Fathers Podcast Would've Hit Different
Carolina Blue
We The People Need a Nap
$34.99
White
Pumpkin Patch Institute of Gourd Husbandry
🎃 Halloween
Pumpkin Patch Institute of Gourd Husbandry

This Halloween, Stop Wasting Your Potential. Major in Gourd Husbandry

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Orange
Black Lagoon State College For Wetlands Studies
🎃 Halloween
Black Lagoon State College For Wetlands Studies

This Halloween, Every Swamp Creature Deserves a College Education

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Gold
Caution: I'm Not Sure Which Me I Am Today
Caution: I'm Not Sure Which Me I Am Today

A Public Service Announcement for Anyone Nearby

$36.99
Baby Blue
Possession in Progress
🎃 Halloween
Possession in Progress

Your Possession Is Almost Complete. Thanks for Your Patience

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Heather Purple
Synonym Rolls Just Like Grammar Used To Make
Synonym Rolls Just Like Grammar Used To Make

A Shirt for People Who Have a Weigh With Whirs

$34.99
Heather Red
FREEDOM.EXE still installing...
FREEDOM.EXE still installing...

A Verified Funny original.

$34.99
Heather Red
Pumpkin Patch Institute of Gourd Husbandry — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Pumpkin Patch Institute of Gourd Husbandry — Sweatshirt

This Halloween, Stop Wasting Your Potential. Major in Gourd Husbandry

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Heather
Pumpkin Patch Institute's MELONHEADS!
🎃 Halloween
Pumpkin Patch Institute's MELONHEADS!

This Halloween, Take Me Out to the Pumpkin Patch

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Orange
Minor Inconvenience
Minor Inconvenience

For Those Brave Enough to Overcome a Mildly Annoying Situation

$34.99
Maroon
Normal or Dystopia
Normal or Dystopia

What the Merriam-Webster of It All?!

$34.99
Dark Heather
University of Cryptkeeping & Mortuary Science — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
University of Cryptkeeping & Mortuary Science — Sweatshirt

This Halloween, Consider a Career in Six-Foot Undertaking

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Navy
Broom Traffic Controller WFSB — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Broom Traffic Controller WFSB — Sweatshirt

Halloween Airspace Isn't Going to Manage Itself

$50.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Black
Whaaaaaaaat?!?
Whaaaaaaaat?!?

Because "Seriously?" Isn't Strong Enough

$34.99
Carolina Blue
Sr. Exorcist Possessed Dolls
🎃 Halloween
Sr. Exorcist Possessed Dolls

This Halloween, the Noise Is Coming From Inside the Toy Box!

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Navy
Patrol Officer: Paranormal Surveillance Division
🎃 Halloween
Patrol Officer: Paranormal Surveillance Division

The Thin Boo Line: Halloween's Police

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Royal
Cycologist
Cycologist

Prescribed for Cyclists with an Advanced Sense of Humor

$34.99
Dark Heather
Before Compliance Was a Thing
Before Compliance Was a Thing

AMERICA: 250 YEARS AGO

$34.99
White
Leave Aunt Mabel Right Where She Is - Yet Another Good Reason to Skip Housework
Heather Red
Pumpkin Patch Institute's MELONHEADS! — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Pumpkin Patch Institute's MELONHEADS! — Sweatshirt

This Halloween, Take Me Out to the Pumpkin Patch

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Heather
2026: Still Workshopping It
Sport Grey
Bloody Barnaby's Discount Blood Emporium — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Bloody Barnaby's Discount Blood Emporium — Sweatshirt

Transylvania's Bloodiest Business - Funny Halloween Sweatshirt

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Antique Cherry Red
It's Fine, I'm Fine, Everything is Fine
It's Fine, I'm Fine, Everything is Fine

Everything's Under Control-ish

$34.99
Coral
University of Cryptkeeping's GARGOYLES
🎃 Halloween
University of Cryptkeeping's GARGOYLES

This Halloween, Your Game Face Better Be Set in Stone

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Chocolate
Transylvania Blood Sciences Night School's RABID BATS
🎃 Halloween
Transylvania Blood Sciences Night School's RABID BATS

This Halloween, Get a Little Batshit About Football

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Cardinal Red
I Have Selective Thinking...
I Have Selective Thinking...

When You're Officially Out of Listening Capacity

$34.99
Cardinal Red
Transylvania Blood Sciences Night School's RABID BATS — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Transylvania Blood Sciences Night School's RABID BATS — Sweatshirt

This Halloween, Get a Little Batshit About Football

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Chocolate
OSHA Sr. Cauldron Safety Inspector
🎃 Halloween
OSHA Sr. Cauldron Safety Inspector

Somebody Has to Keep Witches' Cauldrons Up to Code

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Heather Kelly
Hide & Seek Champion
Hide & Seek Champion

Undefeated Since Anyone Can Remember

$34.99
Graphite Heather
Black Lagoon State College For Wetlands Studies — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Black Lagoon State College For Wetlands Studies — Sweatshirt

This Halloween, Every Swamp Creature Deserves a College Education

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Military Green
Go Familiars - Women's B-ball at Academy of Advanced Witchcraft — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Go Familiars - Women's B-ball at Academy of Advanced Witchcraft — Sweatshirt

Root for the Home Coven This Halloween. GO FAMILIARS!

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Orange
Dill Doe
Dill Doe

For those who love wordplay and a good pun

$34.99
Graphite Heather
Victor Frankenstein College of Reanimation — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Victor Frankenstein College of Reanimation — Sweatshirt

A College Where Raising the Dead is Extra Credit

$58.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Oatmeal Heather
Salem Witch Trials Appeals Board
🎃 Halloween
Salem Witch Trials Appeals Board

Halloween Justice: Because Witches Deserve an Appeal

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Ash
Frankenstein College of Reanimation's MONSTERS
🎃 Halloween
Frankenstein College of Reanimation's MONSTERS

This Halloween, Skip Team Building. Ours Comes Assembled

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Turf Green
Transylvania Night School — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Transylvania Night School — Sweatshirt

An Education You Can Sink Your Teeth Into

$58.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Maroon
Not Today Satan
Not Today Satan

Perfect When Your Halo Needs a Personal Day

$34.99
Dark Heather
University of Cryptkeeping & Mortuary Science
🎃 Halloween
University of Cryptkeeping & Mortuary Science

This Halloween, Consider a Career in Six-Foot Undertaking

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Heather
Salem Witch Defense Fund — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Salem Witch Defense Fund — Sweatshirt

Halloween Legal Trouble? Better Call Salem

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Sand
70% of People are Stupid
70% of People are Stupid

Courageous Enough to Be a Punchline?

$34.99
Light Blue
Sr. Inspector Halloween Candy QC — Sweatshirt
🎃 Halloween
Sr. Inspector Halloween Candy QC — Sweatshirt

Some Halloween Treats Are Too Good to Risk. We'll Take It From Here

$54.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Dark Heather
1776 Called: It Wants a Do-Over
1776 Called: It Wants a Do-Over

A Verified Funny original.

$34.99
White
Sr. Inspector Halloween Candy QC
🎃 Halloween
Sr. Inspector Halloween Candy QC

Some Halloween Treats Are Too Good to Risk. We'll Take It From Here

$34.99
Tee · Sweatshirt
Orange
Verified Funny — Certified Humor, We Checked

Get the jokes first.

New drops, occasional nonsense, zero spam. Your support proves your taste and sense of humor are impeccable — if a bit worrisome. Drinkware and totes landing later this year.

© 2026 Verified FunnyVerified funny by actual humans